Separation and divorce, even when a couple part on good terms, can be very difficult. If only couples could simply say to each other the words of the Kenny Chesney song “Nothing left, no regrets; No hard feelings wish you all the best; No blame, no shame. Just time to say it’s over I guess. We both agree it’s the right thing. The only thing left to do. You win, I win, we lose”
When it comes to separation and divorce, there are those who insist on taking all the right steps to have a thoroughly miserable divorce to ensure their relationship with their former partner and their family is tainted for a long time. There are 5 easy steps to a miserable separation and divorce:
1 – Hire the cheapest lawyer in town
Don’t use a family lawyer. You get what you pay for and the lawyer can be the difference in having a good or miserable divorce.
Not all lawyers are equal. If you’re looking for someone to guide you through your divorce, not using a Family Lawyer is a bad decision. Lack of knowledge in what is a specialised area leads to poor advice and increased costs. An Accredited Family Law Specialist is just that, someone who is recognised as an expert in their field, specialising in Family Law.
So go ahead, hire the cheapest non family lawyer available to be sure of an uncomfortable miserable divorce.
2 – Find a shark
Get out there and find the toughest meanest most aggressive lawyer in town. Make sure they’re very expensive. Look for the biggest advertisement and find a lawyer’s photograph on their website. Pick the one who looks the angriest. This will guarantee to increase the conflict in your divorce make things altogether miserable for both you and your spouse. Make sure you don’t consider mediation.
Mediation minimises conflict and can assist a couple achieve a negotiated outcome without court proceedings and gives each party control of the process, not the professionals.
On the other hand by increasing conflict, your pet shark will perform outstanding work, clocking up billable hours with a care factor about you of zero. Increased conflict means increased billable hours and what little goodwill existed between you and your ex-partner soon disappears like mist in the morning sun. You will have many years ahead to ponder the hatred and animosity generated. When the case is over or may be even before it gets to that court room door, your wallet will be empty your ex-partner’s wallet will be empty and the lawyers will have the rest. Best of all, any money that may have paid for your children’s education will help put your lawyers children through their education instead.
3 – Don’t consider counselling
To ensure a thoroughly miserable divorce, you won’t want any help with that emotional turmoil. You want to be fuelled by anxiety, depression, guilt and anger. It makes you feel so bad.
Engaging a counsellor would guide you through the feelings of grief at the loss of the relationship and help alleviate the stress of separation. Counselling would also help you make better decisions for you and your family, helping to minimise the conflict.
So to have a thoroughly miserable divorce and separation, avoid mental health professionals. Stay away. Try to deal with it by yourself and all your friends on Facebook. Let your emotions blossom into a full blown temporary psychosis that will continue to fester. enjoy your misery at leisure.
4 – Involve the children
Don’t leave anyone out of your miserable divorce. Try to destroy your children in the process. By increasing the conflict between you and your partner and engaging the children in the conflict will increase your misery tenfold. use them as messengers for adult business. Make sure you tell them about how horrible their parent is. Share your opinion about their parent to make sure they too are as miserable as you. Take a hard line on every minute with your children that you can. Make sure changeovers involve a lot of very public shouting and swearing. That’s a sure way to ensure your children share your misery. By growing up to have their own depression, relationship problems, obsessive compulsive disorders, eating disorders and drug addictions, or your children will grow to resent you. This really makes a miserable separation. In time they may have their own miserable divorce.
Studies have shown that where there is conflict in divorce more harm is done to the children through the conflict than the separation itself. Parents who minimise conflict in their separation and ensure the children are insulated from the effects of family breakdown, who focus on parenting, not parental conflict, have happier healthier children who cope with the parental separation and change in living arrangements far more easily than those parents who fail to follow this simple rule.
5 – Insist on justice
To ensure misery in your divorce insist on justice. Spend a lot of time, money and energy seeking it. Don’t compromise unless your idea of justice and equity is met. Because your ex-partner and the courts probably have very different opinions of what just and equitable means, this technique is particularly effective to increase your disappointment.
Experienced family lawyers know there’s no such thing as justice in the Family Court. A just and equitable result, which treats each party fairly is the outcome family lawyers seek to achieve and the court seeks to deliver.